Welcome To My Life

life ends and life begins

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:27:52 GMT

omg tracy's step mom is having a baby! i think im a little overly excited about this lol but i get to be the aunt! even though i like never met her step mom lol! tracy dubbed me aunty sam haha good stuff! im gonna make it a sexy punk rocker baby n buy it clothes at hot topic and give him spikes and a mohawk! n im gonna dye his hair blue! that would be so cool! but for now ill just buy it clothes in hot topic lol. its gonna be born in june so i have a little time but im so excited!! mucho congrats trae trae!!! im so happy for you! mwaz
~SAM~

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 21:12:53 GMT

ok well i havent updated in a while lol...well actually it hasnt been as long as usual but w/e umm ok well quick update on my life lol.....sean broke up with me on friday (kt's bday) n i was sad but w/e im over it now n we're just friends...its better this way lol. if u really think about it, being with one person for a long time is depressing, you can only do shit with them and its just depressing lol you cant flirt or anything! its like ahh lol so w/e im good. i guess im making up for lost time lol...i hooked up with jimmy on tuesday (i dont kiss and tell lol) but i like him and hez cool so that was cool, even tho they were umm.....whats sean call it? spanking the hobo lol....before me n jimmy umm yea w/e its not important lol. well jimmy has a gf so therez really nothing thats gonna happen there so w/e not like i really want a boyfriend now anyway, i think ill be single for a while lol i mean its nice having a boyfriend and shit but i think its wayy better being single if you want my opinion! lol....so anyway, i also like jonathan, hes the shizznit lmfao....hez my friend n he wore the pineapple boxers!! yay jon!! lol i love u lmfao. it was good stuff.....so this weekend, me alissa n i think tina r prob goin 2 taco bell and gettin taco bell lol then im goin 2 get my third hole done, but im not sure if i wanna pierce both ears or just one....then we're renting exorcist and taking a taxi home...yay taxis and scary mexicans raping us!! then we're gonna have a sleepover and watch the sweetest thing cuz w/o it life cant go on lol. its a good ass movie! lmfao....ok so thats what we're thinking about doing and i think thats it lol...i really dont see why i bother typing this crap anyway cuz im sure u really dont care what i do lol....so w/e. ooo yea and post on my thingy cuz it makes me feel special! lol leave love yay!! ok well also, shout out 2 my sperm (got it right mon lol) and vagina! i love u guys forever! o and also to my frog and penguin cuz life would suck and be sooo boring w/o u guys! mwaz peace

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 03:24:10 GMT

Quiz that i stole from justin that he stole from sandy lol haha ok well here it is:
+ name: Samantha (ewwy lol i hate it)
+ nickname: Sam
+ gender: Female
+ age: 15 (oh yea biatches!)
+ height: umm 5'4-ish?
+ hair color: light brown/blond and maybe dying it black...lol tina
+ eye color: blue-ish (it changes)

SECTION 2 (HAVE YOU EVER)

+ fallen off the bed? yes...its painful
+ fallen for a relative? dont think so lol
+ had plastic surgery? yes...but its not that noticable n its not like my boobs or anything n no 1 actually noz about it lol
+ broke someone’s heart? i def hope not cuz i no it sucks
+ had your heart broken? yes and it sucks ass
+ had a dream come true? yes...when sean asked me out (hehe)
+ done something you regret? yes...many times, im a horrible person
+ cheated on a test? no shit...haha sandy! i cheated off jen, i was sneaky!
+ broken a body part? i dont think so...

SECTION 3 (CURRENTLY)

+ wearing - jeans and a distillers tee
+ listening to - my mom tellin my dad a story lol
+ chewing – nothin
+ feeling - the keyobard
+ reading – what im writing
+ chatting with – my rossy-poo
+ watching – my computer screen
+ should REALLY be – doin my hw and gettin my guitar ready 4 school tomorrow

SECTION 4 (DO YOU...)

+ brush your teeth? yes
+ love anybody? YES! i love you so much sean!
+ have any piercings? yes, two ears and i wanna make another n pierce my lip!
+ drive? yes...but i suck horribly n i crash go-carts
+ believe in Santa Claus? nope...im jewish (haha tina!)
+ ever get off the computer? rarely i have no life lol

SECTION 5 (FRIENDS)

+ who is your best? tina, alissa, ross, and penis n vagina
+ who is the loudest? idk
+ who laughs the most? me...and tina
+ who have you known the longest? alissa
+ who have you known the shortest? tina
+ who do you miss the most? penis and vagina (they go together)
+ do you belong to a crew? umm i dunno.....i have a group of friends if u wanna call that my crew...
+ do you hang out with the opposite sex? yes lol
+ do you trust your friends? most of them
+ are you a good friend? yea...i hope so, but i have problems lol tina n alissa
+ can you keep a secret? kinda...if its important

SECTION 6 (THE LAST PERSON YOU...)

+ hugged - Ryan
+ kissed - sean (haha i hope lmfao jkjk)
+ IMed – Ross
+ Talked to on the phone – grandpa...but before that, tina
+ Shook Hands With – the retard from the movies on saturday lol tina n alissa

SECTION 7 (PERSONAL)

+ What do you want to be when you grow up? – i dunno...a pro surfer?
+ What is your most embarrassing story? - i cant tell u lol
+ What has been the best day of your life? – the day sean asked me out...or maybe the night we spent together lol
+ What comes first in your life? - family & friends(i no i sound cheesy)

SECTION 8 (FAVORITE . . .)

+ Movie: how to deal, 10 things i hate about you, the sweetest thing, and say anything (i like many lol)
+ Store: pac sun...maybe
+ Relative: Conrad (he plays soccer and hez awesome...i miss u so much!)
+ Sport: surfing
+ Vacation Spot: my grandpa's house in florida cuz its right near the beach! ooo n that place in cancun! lol
+ Ice Cream Flavor: vanilla (i love vanilla)
+ Fruit: lemon...i love sucking on them lol im weird
+ Candy: recees, m&ms with peanut butter, umm anything chocolate
+ Holiday: halloween!
+ Day of the Week: Saturday...thats my day lol
+ Color: blue, black, red
+ Magazine: AMP
+ Name for a Girl: Ashleigh
+ Name for a Boy: Mike

SECTION 9 (DO YOU . . .)

+ Like to give hugs? – yea lol
+ Like to walk in the rain? – i love the rain! i especially love thunderstorms
+ Sleep with or without clothes on? - my pjs! they're comfy!
+ Prefer black or blue pens? - black
+ Dress up on Halloween? – only if i can find a cool costume
+ Like to travel? - yes...if im with friends
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? – side...i randomly switch at night
+ Want to marry? – if i find someone i love who loves me back
+ Have a goldfish? - no i hate them! what's the point of fish? what do they do?
+ Ever have the falling dream? - nope, i always have someone to catch me ;-) (jkjk i dont really fall in my dreams)
+ Have stuffed animals? – yes my monkeys and teddy bears...i love teddy bears
+ Go on vacation? – yea but not recently

SECTION 10 (WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT . . .)

+ Abortion: im not sure...if it happened to me anytime soon i probably would have one but it really depends
+ Bill Clinton: i really cant give a crap
+ Eating Disorders: no comment :-X
+ Suicide: i think it sucks and if my friends killed themselves i'd cry...so dont kill urself cut urself lol
+ Summer: summer is awesome! surfin time!
+ Tattoos: i want one but jewish ppl arent supposed 2 have them...so idk...but if u have too many its ugly
+ Piercing: they're cool but too many would suck n be ugly

SECTION 11 (THIS OR THAT?)

+ Pierced nose or tongue? – nose (tongue causes cancer n bad breath....ehh)
+ Be serious or funny? – funny
+ Single or taken? – taken
+ Simple or Complicated? – simple...but not too simple
+ Law or anarchy? – anarchy but not extreme
+ MTV or BET? – FUSE (best fckin channel ever!)
+ Cops Or Law and Order? – niether
+ Sugar or salt? – sugar and salt lol
+ Silver or gold? - silva
+ Tongue or Belly Button Ring? – belly button i guess....but its way too fad
+ Chocolate or Flowers? – flowers i guess....like roses...i love red roses (im a romantic lol)
+ Angels or miracles? – miracles
+ Color or Black-and-White photos? – depends...sometimes black and white is cool looking
+ Sunrise or sunset? – sunset (especially at the beach)
+ M&M's or Skittles? – M&Ms
+ Rap or Reggae? – niether i hate both n they should disappear and die!
+ Stay up late or sleep in? – i'd do both lol cuz its fun lol
+ TV or radio? – tv
+ Hot or cold? – hot is fun...but cold is cool cuz u get hot coco n a fire lol
+ Taller members of the opposite sex or Shorter? – taller
+ Sun or moon? – moon
+ Diamond or Ruby? – diamond...but i like sapphire wayy better lol
+ Left or Right? - left
+ 10 acquaintances or one best friend? - one best friend
+ Kids or no kids? – im not sure...
+ Cat or dog? – dog...but after my doggy died im too sad...i dont want either
+ Half-empty or Half-full? – who cares...drink it!
+ Mustard or ketchup? – neither...eww
+ Newspaper or Magazine? – magazine
+ Spring or Fall? – fall
+ Rain or snow? - rain
+ Lace or satin? – lace.....its sexier
+ A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? both?
+ happy or sad? happy...but im sad sometimes cuz u cant always be happy
+ Corduroy or plaid? – plaid....duh and safety pins!!
+ Wonder or amazement? - amazement
+ sneakers or sandals? – sneakers
+ McDonald's or Burger King? – mcdonalds
+ Mexican or Italian food? - mexican i guess (kiro taco bell lol tina n alissa)
+ Lights on or off? – off i guess
+ Duct tape or scotch tape? – scotch tape
+ Candy or soda? – soda
+ A house in the woods or the city? - city
+ Pepsi or Coke? – pepsi
+ Nike or ADIDAS? – adidas if i hadda choose

SECTION 12 (OTHER QUESTIONS)

+ Do you go to church? – im jewish
+ Do you like church? – ??
+ What's your favorite kind of tree? – i dunno
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? – yes...sean
+ If you had an extra set of eyes where would you put them? – on my ass so i could see people staring at me...jk i dunno
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? – sean and my day lol...yes im pitiful
+ If you had a time machine what would you do? - go to the 80's!! lol

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so tired

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 03:20:27 GMT

im exhausted....umm i dunno wut to say. i dont really feel like updating but im doin it for ross. he said that i said that all the people from gate hill are retards and i dont remember saying that but they are...well most of them. Except for Ross (see ross i do love u lol) n a couple other people. well ok so thats that. ummm alissa n tina slept over last night cuz we saw White Noise yesterday n it was creepy so we stayed up all night n im tired now. Umm i guess thats really about it uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh srry lol i forgot 2 let go of the 'H' but umm i really dont know what else to say my life is pretty fckin boring. im really confused about alot of things but i guess that comes with growing up (hahaha i sound so retarded) um everyone always has things 2 say in their journal...i wish i did lol nothing exciting ever happens to me...but i shouldnt say that cause last time i did my grandma almost died n i hadda put my dog to sleep. ok well im really tired n i wont be able to get up 2 go to school tomorrow so im gonna go bed now lol peace out! oh wait...here lemme say a little something! when we went 2 the mall yesterday tina's bro, chris, drove us and his friend, Tom (batman!) was there so it was me alissa tina tom and chris. well as we were leaving tom says to chris "you're gonna go over the curb" n chris couldnt avoid it so w/e we went over the curb n as the car bumb-bumbed tom like groaned happily lol. it was some funny ass shit! also....he picked his nose...and then he was rubbing up against chris lol. its some good stuff, its never dull when im with tina n alissa ill say that much! now i have chocolate squished into my rug and that shits not comin out for a looooonnnnnnnnnng ass time! lol um so then friday we were chillin at foremost n everyone went back 2 brigids but we couldnt cuz we're not cool enough so me alissa mike alex noelle and tina were just chillin at foremost eatin pizza n then we had a snowball fight. we wanted 2 go play pool but we couldnt n tina left with her bro on a delivery 2 ask if he could drive us to the bowling alley to play pool. so while she was gone, alex decides 2 throw a chunk of ice, miss noelle and hit a mexican's window. he got pissed n said he was gonna call the cops on us so we ran away. we walked 2 mikes house but on the way stoped by a&p and fell and lay down on the ice. i bruised my bad knee up so bad n it still hurts like a fckin bitch!! urg! then we went 2 CVS n we went thru the pickup window n pretended we were in a car it was cool. n therez a button u push 4 the ppl so i pushed it n we ran away it was fun..yay! o yea alex also wiped his snot all over my gloves...thanks buddy!...then we ended up at mikes house....somehow. it was cool cuz i finally got to see the infamous bedroom with the matress....ehh...lol. it was one of the funniest nights of my life. and i couldnt feel my ass for like 2 hours after i got home! so umm thats about it i dunno wut else exciting happened....umm yea so now i have bed and then tomorrow i have school (ehh) and then im probably gonna chill with alissa n tina cuz: kiro taco bell (as tina spells it lol) we wanted taco bell!!! lol maybe we can ditch school tomorrow n go buy some! that would be awesome! or have them deliver it! haha good stuff ok well peace out
~SAM~

a couple minutes later....

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 19:25:06 GMT

i found this n thought damn thats so cool it fits me lol so yea looky here yo! i think i could make do with this lol lmfao:

Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque
Your Name
Band Name	Tool
Role	Drummer
Trademark	Well-Worn Doc Martens
Love Interest	The Guitarist

Quiz created with MemeGen!

We are the lazy generation!

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 19:19:39 GMT

wow i havent written in a long time. i dont even remember the last time i wrote lol haha. well....im goin out with sean (its been a lil over a month yay!) i love him hehe. umm im very hyper today. lets see im not gonna update cuz all u assholes dont care about my life and if u do then u dont deserve to know...hahaha cause if ur readin this u should be my friend n u should know anyway haha. well umm yea look at this haha it sounds like me lmfao:

Your Suicide.. by Konstantine
Your Name/Username
Favorite Number?
Favorite Color?
Gender?
How will you commit suicide?	Pills + Alcohol (fun!)
How many tries will it take?	58
When will you commit suicide?	June 14, 2049
What will your suicide note say?	Life is Love. Love is painful. Yet suicide is swift and sweet

Quiz created with MemeGen!

yay ok well umm i think thats it so yea peace out homedawgs!

tap on my window, knock on my door...i wanna make you feel beautiful!

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 18:11:09 GMT

lately, everythings been so unpredictable and i love it! lol. i must sound so corny but im serious! Nothings turned out the way i expected and i love it like that. Yesterday, me tina nick andrew and elliot went to the bowling alley cuz a couple of us were gonna go bowling and oddly enough, we didnt! we walked around 9W then we went to andrews house...and lets just say it wasn't what i expected in many ways...NOT SAYING IT WAS BAD....because trust me, IT WASN'T!!!!!! hehe. we just had alot of fun and i was laughing all day! it was so much fun! ok well thats it just wanted to update for my bexy-poo and trae-trae who live thru me and my sex life lol....my prude girls, i love ya! lol this entry was 4 u lol
SAM

Fragile Innocence

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 21:53:04 GMT

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i give up! I give in! I'm done. I was doing so well before. I was losing weight, i was proud of my body and how i looked. I liked that my thighs were looking skinnier and that i could wear belly shirts and mini skirts but then halloween came. screw dieting, it never works. My whole family is full of fat people, my mom even tells me i need to lose weight and watch my weight because we have fat genes in our family. I've been toying with the idea of anorexia for a while now and i'm beginning to think its the only way to lose weight. I'm going to the doctor next month and i really dont want her to tell me i need to lose 10 or 20 pounds, ill lose 30 by then and see what she says! ha! in her face stupid old fart! i went on this pro-ana website its actually a really good site and she has tips for becoming anorexic and bulimic. its really cool. i have to stop for now so...im done. here's to losing weight! (maybe guys will like me better now....)
*Look for the girl with the broken smile*

party is coming...and countdown!

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 22:56:30 GMT

im so excited! Marissa's coming over 2morrow after school and shez taking my bus home! therez this party near the high school starting at 8, im not exactly sure where or for how long, probably a lil after midnight but since its a friday night it c ould probably go til like 2. I dunno, but im so excited. Me and Missa are gonna chill and get ready then mom's driving. She's being awefully (dare i say it) "cool" lately. Shez lettin me go 2 a green day concert n she didnt even ask if parents r gonna b there (which they're not) and now shez lettin me go 2 a party where therez gonna b alcohol! I love her so much! I cant believe how i could ever feel like she hated me or be mad at her because she is probably one of the coolest moms!!!! I love her! Well, Migga isn't tellin her mom that shez goin 2 a party, her mom just thinks shez sleepin over (i hope she doesnt call lol that would suck lol) so we'll see what happens! But i cant believe everything is working out so perfectly...knock on wood cuz of course sumthins gonna happen but w/e. Ok well thats it for now, i have 2 go clean so Missa can come over! I cant wait! I'm so "indescribably" happy right now! I'm gonna try to do everything to help mom! I love her so much!! ahhhh lol! The only thing that can make 2day better is Andrew asking me out which isnt gonna happen since he like doesnt no me and definately doesnt no my s/n or #. But its ok this is good enough! I'm goin 2 a party! I wanna b single! This is gonna rock!!!
SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!1
SAM

blab (couldnt think of a title)

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 22:38:57 GMT

so i couldnt go to mikes game yesterday n i was really sad but he got hurt anyway (he told me the details...thanks mike!...but i wont tell you n he probably wouldnt want me to!) so yea anyway. We lost our soccer game today and Bill stuck me in goal...agian! its like wtf! he says everyone plays one half but becuase i did so wonderfully one game (i stopped a couple kicks cuz it was this tiny like 10 year old girl!). So he makes me play goalie every game n i stand there and sweat...i dont do anything i just wear a black shirt on top oof a dark purple one in the hot sun and it just plain sucks! So today i let in 2 goals cuz my knee was bothering me n i couldnt even watch the hot guys play in the field next to us cuz of the sun so i was pissed. So finally he took me out. We lost anyway but i think we played OK. Then we went to the mall (me n my family...joy!) and did some errands and got sum shit and then my mom got pissed off at these assholes at dsw and then we left and she yelled at me...always me! but w/e then we went apple picking (hot guys....oddly enough) and then we went to stop and shop 2 get sum food (more hot guys! go figure lol) and then we came home n im talkin 2 monika about our party and then im gonna go have breakfast (we're havin breakfast for dinner! yay lol) and i got a bunch of new CD's 2 listen 2! Green Day's American Idiot (its so friggin awesome!), ACDC, Rock Collection and Rock Against Bush volume 2!! woo hoo!!! so im gonna go have breakfast bye!

If A Guy Is Perfect, Why Is He Unattainable?...Or Single.....

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 22:53:17 GMT

This is what i want in a guy....am i too picky? Comment and let me know.

He has to be:
1- Funny
2- Smart
3- Creative
4- Romantic
5- Friendly
6- Happy
7- Sense of Humor
8- have a serious side
9- knows when to be funny and when to be serious
10- smells good
11- Taller than me (not necessarily needed)
12- Can always make me laugh
13- sensitive
14- hangs around with his friends as well as me and mine
15- doesnt suffocate me
16- shows he cares
17- can always surprise me
18- takes me to the movies and puts his arm around me
19- doesn't push me to do things (but isn't prude!)
20- kisses...good
21- Not from GH cuz they have horrible dorky nose picking, drooly, retarded, bad kissing guys there!

~so far the people i showed this to said:
Tracy: he'd hafta b gay cause he'd be perfect...but ur not too picky
Lauren G: Ur not too picky...u just want the perfect guy
and a couple other people said stuff like that but i forget lol but u get the trend lol. lemme no wut u think!
Also, i realized i had a guy that fit that and he wasn't gay...he was really good...with the exception, he wasnt a good kisser, he was ok. asnd i broke up with him after 4 months and now he has a girlfriend and thats fine because i dont like him anymore but i cant believe i had everything i wanted in a guy and i let him go for no reason. Thats how i am though, i think im just afraid of commitment becuase i just cant stay in a relationship 4 that long

No matter how dead the rose is, it can still bloom if it's loved

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 22:24:20 GMT

well last night was friggin awesome! I went over Judy's and stayed there till like 10. We really wanted to see Mike's baseball game, but no offense to him, we had much more fun than i think we woulda if we had gone to his game (i still love u mike lol). We walked around town (ha i have a town to walk around! yay lol) she smoked, i never have and i mean sure i wanted to try it just to see what it was like but judy's such a good friend she didn't let me. Like how good of a friend is that that says, "no, its bad for you and i regret doing it so im not going to let you". So w/e. We hung out with some people. Walked for like 2 hours doing absolutly nothing. We walked thru a trailer park that said No Loud Cars and Judy said we drive lard cars thru here all the time. When i went to make fun of her i ended up saying lard cows and then we ran down Central Highway driving our "lard cars" i got to drive first! lol. We ran up the street yelling MOO!!! Until Judy went blind! She was walking and all of a sudden couldnt see out of her left eye. When we got back to her house (about 20 minutes later) she had them on n i was like lemme see those 4 a sec and stuck my finger right thru where the lens is supposed to be! it fell out on the road. lol lmfao. And you know how many people we saw while we were walking! We also stopped by her friend stephanie's house and then we went to this other girls house who had a friend over. Her friend looked really familiar n she said i did too but we dont no from where. I learned that if ur going to a drinking party dont eat carbs because then your stomach will be emptier and you can drink more! Haha always nice to know! Then we walked home. Her dad ordered us pizza and we went to 711 to get beer and omg there were the most gorgeous guys outside! And judy knew the hottest one! She said she'd hook me up. I love that girl! oh yea and when we were walking i tripped in front of the police station and i was like im gonna get a WWI (walking while intoxicated) and then Judy got a WWPB (walking while partially blind) and we both got WWS (walking while special) and we musta spent 10 minutes thinking up all the possible things we could think of to get. Then we made up a special song...i like to ride the retard but to letchworth! lol u hafta have been there to get it. But i had so much fun. Then she dressed me up getto and i fit into a size 3 pants! i was so happy you have no idea. except my boobs were kinda popping outta the tank top and she wants me to wear it to skewl monday cause she says ill get mike no problem. But i only really like him as a friend. Besides he told Judy he only likes me as a friend so thats fine, we'll be friends. It works for me. He lieks Christa anyway supposedly. But i dont care last night was wayyyy to awesome to care! Oh and then i got a bite on my arm and its huge and puffy and painful! it might be a spider bite but we dont no n my mom really doesnt care so if i die....thats why! lol. Thats about it for that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then today: I woke up at 1 in the afternoon! That helped with the fasting (its yom kippor). So anyway i was talking to mike online for God knows how long (probably about like 2 or 3 hours) i lose track of time when im online. And we talked about everything from parties and getting drunk and having sex (which niether of us have im proud to say lol...no matter what some people think.....lol) to wearing boxers...maybe i can wear a pair of his lol. Oh yea he plays baseball and he hasa wear boxer-briefs under his pants when he plays catcher. omg lol its so awesome just talking to him. There was a party last night but i couldnt go and niether could judy so he didnt go (even though he said he couldnt get a ride i think its cuz we werent goin) and then therez a party tonight but i dont think i can go. Cuz im not goin without Judy and i dunno where she is. Cuz i will not go to my first real like REAL party, u no wut i mean, alone. Cuz thats just to scary lol. Mike has a baseball game now actually n i really wanted to go but i cant. He might come to my soccer game tomorrow morning (at 10:15 i might add) and then we might chill. I mean how awesome is that to have a friend come 2 ur game at 10:15 in the morning when u cant even really play cuz u hurt your knee (yes again lol)!! But i don't think im even attracted to him like that anymore so im kinda glad we're just friends. I dont know, maybe its just cuz im PMSing, but im really emotional and moody lately so STAY AWAY!! lol. but yea. So me and Mike just talked about everything and hes such a great person and who woulda guessed we had so much in common (he likes green day, he has the distillers cd {omg big plus there!}, he likes american hi-fi and so much more) omg hez just like perfect. I was describing him to tracy once and she thinks hez gay hez so perfect but i know hez not he cant be! lol. I also made up a list of what i want in a guy. I'll post it in my next entry cuz im too lazy to write it now. But Mike is so awesome. He dresses getto and stuff which completely threw me but he snowboards and wants to learn to surf and he parties and drinks (like me) and i dunno its just so cool to talk to him....plus hez perverted! Do i make people perverted or do i just like pick them out of a crowd subconsiously and become friends with them!? lol. so yea, he's awesome and i love hanging out with him and im so happy we're friends. ok well thats enough for now. Bye!

A confused heart can't cry, can't laugh, can't speak...

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 21:03:36 GMT

Strange as it may be
We met that summer of two thousand and three
I remember that night at the Nevele
You opened my eyes and let me see
A new side of me
A side that will always show
No matter where i go
I'll always know...

My sisters are watching over me
Our mystical powers- set me free
Hail to the watchtowers of earth, wind, fire, and sea
We'll be sisters forever
So blessed be

Flashing guys
Joyous cries
All these memories fly by
I'll always remember you
I hope you'll remember me too
I don't know what i would do
If i never met you

My sisters are watching over me
Our mystical powers- set me free
Hail to the watchtowers of earth, wind, fire, and sea
We'll be sisters forever
So blessed be

That summer was fun
Even though it's done
The memories will live on
Inside of me we'll always be
Together until were gone

How much you mean to me i can't say
No words can help describe why i feel this way

My sisters are watching over me
Our mystical powers- set me free
Hail to the watchtowers of earth, wind, fire, and sea
We'll be sisters forever
So blessed be...

Our mystical powers- set me free
Hail to the watchtowers of earth, wind, fire, and sea
We'll be sisters forever
So blessed be

-By Tracy! (i love you i hadda steal it sorry lol)

~Wiccans Rule~
*tracy wrote this a loooonnnng time ago, when we were all friends...that has ceased to happen now...oh well. I guess it's just a memory. And no matter how much we might hate each other now, our memories are awesome and i'll always have them from when we were friends...its kinda like losing your dog (sumthin i no well)u have the memories and no matter how sad u r u think of the good times and even if u hate a person u had a time when u were friends becuz in order 2 hate a person u had to care about them at one point...my theory...which is true lol...so my memories of mine n laurens frienship...sure it makes me smile but im sad i lost her as a friend but i guess thats whats meant 2 happen, i think we both knew it was coming. oh well....enough sulking...im too happy n bored....goin 2 watch fairly odd parents bbl!
~*SaMmY*~
P.S. i wonder if lauren will read this...i kinda hope she does so she'll know how i feel but its not liek its my fualt that we're not friends since she's the one who said shit about (and to) me....so when i think of that i get even angrier...oh well, bye!

The pain-filled heart bleeds black...

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 20:32:00 GMT

Well, school started and it SUCKS! I hate it! i hate it! i hate it! i miss all my camp friends, i've never realized but they are so much cooler than my school friends...considering i didn't really have any by the end of the year cause i couldn't stand any of them. Me and amanda became really close but we dotn really talk this year. Me n migga are still tight as ever and i'm so hapy i have her as a friend. Me and Rachel are friends agian too. other than that i've basically made all new friends (Brit, Judy, Nancy, Erin, Eliza, etc.) and its really awesome! Also, who knew that liking a kid in my science class would help me become friends with someone from WGMS? Me and Lauren have become pretty friendly. She's really cool and i enjoy talking to her about mike...lol. I really like that kid...gosh! lol. He's so cute and funny and friendly and getto lol. Hard to believe, huh? lol. But yea and omg hes just so awesome to just be friends with. But i like him and im not exactly sure how he feels but therez alot of ppl involved now and i hate it when that happens! Because then u hear sumthin and the other person is thinking something else and it gets all confusing...so tomorrow, if i can get up enough courage, im going to tell mike i like him...but im really scared it might ruin our friendship. But who am i to say stuff like that? I'm the one whoz always telling my friends to tell the guy they like that they like him and to ask him out and stuff and im always saying that your notliving unless u take risks and what am i doing? everything i dont want to! So i hope i can do it. I believe that whatever's mean to happen will so i guess if our friendship is ruined than thats what was supposed to happen and i'll just try to fix it and if we're meant 2 be friends everything will be cool again. And who knows...maybe he'll say he likes me too and i can get a boyfriend (for the first time in 3 months! lol). So who knows whats gonna happen? all i know is i gotta do it.

Also, changing the subject, about this summer. Starting week 6, fuck fest '04! lol, i made really good friends with monika and allie. Then allie left and alissa came. And me alissa monika and tracy are a group. We're the sex organs (i guess u could call it lol)!!!! I'm penis, monika's sperm, tracy's ovaries (damn things that cause periods), and alissa's a vagina! lol. i love them so much! all 3 of them. Without them my summer woulda sucked so im so glad they were there 2 make it better. They always got me smiling and laughing when i needed it and i was always there 4 them (2 ask if we were in the vagina and 2 get chocolate on my pink thong...dont ask). I love you guys! Don't ever change! Stay sexy my lesbian lovers lol. I'll see you soon!

mwahz 2 everyone...
~*SaMmY*~

It Haunts Me Everyday And Now It Slowly Overtakes Me...

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 18:19:54 GMT

~This post is for Bex since she says i need to write more!~
i havent written in a long time but im going to start now. I have decided to go anorexic. I went to the doctor and found out i weighed 152. As the nurse was weighing me, she said to herself "wow you didnt look like you weighed this much"! What nerve! Mom is always telling me how ill look better in a pair of pants if i lose 5 pounds and when i complain about how i look and not having a boyfriend she says if you lose a couple pounds you'll be fine. We always try to go on diets but mom always keeps chocolate or sweets of some kind in the house and when they're here, its tempting to eat it.So maybe when i go anorexic it'll be easier cause after a while i'll forget the taste so it wont even tempt me. It's easy to avoid foods when you dont think about it and occupy you're mind with something else, like boys, school, music, friends, and writing. Once school starts (tomorrow...urg!) it'll be easier because i never eat breakfast because i dont get hungry at 6 in the morning, i usually dont eat lunch at school and if i do its just a snack i can throw up afterwards and then i'll tell mom im still hungry from lunch at dinner time or ill eat a little salad (i've accquired a taste for it and now i love salad!) and then throw it up. I'll only drink seltzer, water, milk or OJ and if i need soda i'll have diet soda...lets try this for now and see what happens. I'm starting by cutting down on my food but still eating...i woke up at 9:30 today and didn't wat until about 10:30 when Noelle had french toast and sat down next to me and the smell smelt so good i just ripped off a tiny piece but it made me feel sick...so i havent eaten since then so i'd say im doing pretty good. I'm going to watch 40 Days and 40 Nights. Later.
~SAM~

And as i cry, i wipe my eyes and see you smiling there

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 19:31:11 GMT

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	gentle
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	everlasting

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	unique

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

which ones better? i've been too lazy to write, mostly because everything that happens is personal and if im mad at someone (like i am now) i dont want them to know lol. but camp is cool cuz there r 2 hot guys, but i still like lizzo best, i had a good dream about him lol, i hope he doesnt read this lol lmao. ok well then, thats about it....
and for the people i like:

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	amazing
Your love is...	unique

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	mysterious
Your hugs are...	warm
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	beautiful
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	everlasting

Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

and i'd add mickeys but the stupid parental control shit i hafta fix wont let me go 2 the page so im gonna go fix that then put up mickeys, yay i love boys!!

A Good Girl's Guide to Being Bad (hehe....me, a good girl?! now therez a joke!)

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 20:23:54 GMT

How to make a Bloodytears19

Ingredients:

5 parts pride

3 parts arrogance

5 parts sexyness

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of fitness

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

hehe yay me!! herez more:

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP BLOODYTEARS19 AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

From Go-Quiz.com

B	Brilliant
L	Lazy
O	Odd
O	Old
D	Dysfunctional
Y	Yum
T	Twisted
E	Edgy
A	Altruistic
R	Responsible
S	Slippery
1
9

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

blab

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 21:50:09 GMT

so nothing new really, but i kicked noelle off the computer so i could take this really cool quiz she showed me on Alloy (who's your punk rock boyfriend?) and these were my results:
Jordan Pundik
Your punk dude destiny is New Found Glory’s Jordan. Like this Florida native, you’ve got a wicked sense of humor, but you’ve also got a big heart. (And we bet it just melts every time you see Jordan hug that pug in the “My Friends Over You” video!) That’s why you’re also kinda down with the emo scene. Another common trait that you and Jordan share is your overabundance of energy. He may jump around on stage like a maniac, but make no mistake -- you’re a total spaz, too! Looks like the perfect match. Have fun in the mosh pit!

i love him! he's so hot...but Cyrus is just a lil hotter ;-P ok so anyway, i went home early from school today cuz i felt like shit n i missed yesterday...i dunno wuts going on with me but my stomach hurts so bad i can't describe it! i dunno. well 2morrow is camp orientation and I'm going with Tracy and then we're meeting everyone. Then we're going to the mall!! I finally made peace with Jeremy (for now at least) and we talk once in a while. I've hated that kid since he undid my bikini top two summers ago! So anyway we're all gonna chill and i might sleepover Tracy's if i feel ok. I hope i do cause i miss her so much! and i love her to death! ok well i g2g
later
~*SAM*~

uhhh

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 22:01:23 GMT

ok well nothing that exciting, im just sticking more stupid quizzes up so i can take up space and look like i actually care and write alot lol. so here they are:

sounds like me, except 4 the male and female part lol

how come everytime life gets good, it starts to suck again?

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 22:00:43 GMT

everything was going great. the dance was awesome. i broke up with bryan cause he "didn't feel like dancing with me" but it was ok to dance with sam mendleson. and then ppl were telling me they were making out. w/e. so thats another relationship down. Then i passed out when i got home firday night. i woke up saturday morning at like 2 in the afternoon and i had no voice and my throat hurt like a bitch. My mom took me to the doctor and we spent all day there with sick little kids....isn't that fun?! not! so then anyway, lauren called me when i still had no voice and asked why i didnt call her and tell her i couldnt sleepover. I tried to tell her i had no voice and i mean it hurt just talking on the phone! Well, now i think she's mad at me, which is just great considering i just found out more news about grandma...everyday it gets worse. She stopped making progress so the stupid f*cking a**holes at Medicade or Medicare w/e aren't gonna pay 4 the rehab anymore and my grandparents can't afford it so they're kicking my grandmother out. So unless we somehow magically get a couple million dollars my grandmother is never going to be able to walk, eat normal food or even talk normal. She's going to be bed-ridden and paralyzed the rest of her life and she's pretty young, she's only like 69, i think. And that's pretty young to never be able to move again, don't you think? ok well i have a health thingy due and i don't even know what im supposed to do...that happens pretty often doesn't it? ok well i hafta go. bye
~*SAM*~

i'm odd, but i dont care!

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:37:30 GMT

I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
A crowd of people around you
Telling you it's okay
And everything happens for a reason

When you lose a part of your self
To somebody you know
It takes a lot to let go
Every breath that you remember
Pictures fade away but memory is forever

An empty chair at all the tables
And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down
But it's better where you're going anyway

I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
It's really hard to get through
Tough times and long days
But it really just depends on the season

For now we'll say goodbye
We know it's not the last time
I've lost the best part of my day
But it's better where you're going anyway

This is the last thing
I will remember
It's better where you're going anyway
<><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

now, isn't that happy?! i got it from my friend...super toilet lol her name is lauren but i just call her toilet. hehe i luv ya hun. isn't it cool that i have 5 friends?! 5!!!
lol yay well i talked 2 bryan and we're fine so everything is ok for now. well umm i think thats it. for now....
~*SAM*~

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:33:13 GMT

~whats a parapaligic?~

the REAL you
name:
age:
sex:
you are a:	fake
your friends think you are a:	alcoholic
you will marry:	a stranger
you like to read:	books
you listen to:	emocore

This quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 7460 Times. </a>

New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

~ok, i guess thats ok~

the REAL you
name:
age:
sex:
you are a:	fake
your friends think you are a:	nerd
you will marry:	a punk rocker
you like to read:	books
you listen to:	80's dance - like erasure

This fun quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 7460 Times. </a>

New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

~i can live with this, am i a fake? :( ~

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:28:48 GMT

hehe, isnt that a good name? i actually like it.....

i'm odd, but i dont care!

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:26:35 GMT

long time.....

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 23:49:42 GMT

its been a long time because each time i write an entry i go to change sumthing and delete everything! blond-ness!! lol. But im not gonna do it this time....whoops lol jkjk hehe. so umm well i dont remember the last thing i wrote, but Bryan asked me out on Saturday (gosh, no words can express how happy i was!!!!) and who would have guessed by going out with Bryan i would have "rekindled" a friendship?! lol, i was talking to Sharon all day yesterday, or so it seems lol. we're really good friends again lol and im really happy. I havent talked to anyone from last year in a long time and now i've started talking to Jessica and Christa and Shannon and Katie and Sharon and its all really cool cause i feel that feeling i've been missing all year, the feeling of friendship and not fighting with maggie everyday which turns you into a cold heartless bitch in time (like i am now) so hopefully we'll all be together next year so we can become closer again. i dunno so well yea i have to go. Giant SS tests tomorrow and the next day. so wish me luck! bbl
I LOVE BRYAN!!!!

all about your sex life...
Full Name
Age
your sex personality colour is...	baby blue- cute, soft, sweet
you'll probaby fuck....	a bunch of people, male and female
your favourite sex toy is...	a broom stick
you will get __# std's.	88283

This cool quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 27931 Times. </a>

how will you die?
name:
age:
sex:
you will die:	in a mass suicide

This Quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 1090 Times. </a>

what will your band be?
name:
age:
sex:
do you lke cats?
you'll call your band:	concrete diary
you will sound like:	glasseater
lyrics:	and with this kiss, i seal your fate

This cool quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 2209 Times. </a>

how will you die?
name:
age:
sex:
you will die:	in a mass suicide

This Quiz by cowboysbecamefolkheros - Taken 1090 Times. </a>